In my travels promoting Totally Wired, I have heard a few stories of teens intervening on behalf of another teen in trouble, i.e. posting about suicidal thoughts. Whether teens tell a parent or the school guidance counselor or even just send that person a hotline link, they are looking out for each other. I wish there was a way to encourage this even more on sites like MySpace and YouTube, especially after this week's news about the Finnish teen who uploaded his murderous message on YouTube before going on a killing rampage. I don't know that anyone could have stopped him, but I think we can encourage teens online to be aware of what friends in their networks are posting as well as other teens who are not necessarily friends. We should encourage teenagers as internet citizens to look for red flags, and if they see them, try to help in some way. I would ask teens to watch for posts that talk about:

- Being depressed
- Having suicidal thoughts
- Having homicidal thoughts
- Eating issues (throwing up or not eating)
- Self harm (cutting)
- Addiction issues (not being able to stop drinking or using drugs)
- Sexual abuse or assault (either at home, by a peer or stranger)

You could encourage teens to reach out to the teen posting and just say they read their post and want to make sure they're ok. If a teen is still concerned, they could tell the school guidance counselor anonymously or talk to their parents about it.

If a teen is posting about killing themselves or others, teens should definitely report this to their school (if it's another student), and if they don't know the teen, to the local police where that teen is posting from, or if they don't have that information to the site's administrators immediately. Here's a great list of hotlines teens can keep handy to send to a friend or other teen in need.

Posted by anastasia at 10:56 PM | Permalink

That's the title of a new essay published in the Journal of Adolescent Research by Brendesha Tynes, a professor of educational psychology and of African American studies at Illinois. In a time where most of the headlines scream "danger!", It's nice to hear an academic voice articulating some of the educational benefits of teens spending time online. According to this summary of her essay from Science Daily, Professor Tynes says:

"We may do adolescents a disservice when we curtail their participation in these spaces, because the educational and psychosocial benefits of this type of communication can far outweigh the potential dangers."

Here are just some of the positives Tynes calls attention to:

- critical thinking and argumentation skills developed in online discussions
- finding support from online peer groups
- exploring questions of identity
- getting help with homework
- asking questions about sensitive issues they might be afraid to ask face to face
- developing their skills in understanding issues from the perspective of others

She also sees the internet as a forum for teens to discuss race or "the training wheels" for discussing these issues in person:

Some teenagers who believe racism no longer exists may readily find it in online discussions, Tynes said. Some may go online and spread false information or make insensitive remarks, but find themselves challenged, she said. Others may find the online environment a place to ask serious questions about race or ethnicity they would be afraid to ask in person, for fear of offending or causing a conflict, Tynes said.

In all of these cases, there is an opportunity to learn or gain a new perspective, she said. "It's sort of like having training wheels for engaging in interracial discussions (offline)," Tynes said.

Given the increasing segregation of U.S. schools along racial lines, Tynes thinks schools may even want to encourage online discussion as a substitute for what is missing in hallways and classrooms. "I think the Internet would be a perfect place to engage the racial issues that may not come up because of this re-segregation," she said.

Posted by anastasia at 9:26 PM | Permalink

Everywhere I've spoken as part of the Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour over the past month, parents have told me that their teens have abandoned MySpace for Facebook. Teens believe that Facebook is "more private," and in many ways Facebook's roots contribute to this perception. Because the site was originally just for Harvard students, then just Ivy League students, then just college students, it always gave off the sense that you were communicating with the same friends you would see in the dorms. MySpace, on the other hand, was first embraced by musicians and artists in Los Angeles looking for a way to communicate directly with fans and hoping for their big break.

Researcher danah boyd pointed out in a recent blog post that the privacy settings on MySpace -- either public for the world or private (just for my friends) are actually stronger than Facebook's multiple options and check boxes in numerous places. From her post:

By default, people's Facebook profiles are only available to their network. Join a City network and your profile is far more open than you realize. Accept the default search listings and you're findable on Google. The default is far beyond friends-only and locking a Facebook profile down to friends-only takes dozens of clicks in numerous different locations. Plus, you never can really tell because if you join a new network, everything is by-default open to that network (including your IM and phone number). To make matters weirder, if you install an Application [Note from Anastasia: Facebook has opened itself up to developers who are creating numerous applications that teens are using to "decorate" their profiles], you give the creator access to all of your profile data (no one reads those checkboxes anyhow). Most people never touch the defaults, meaning that they are far more exposed on Facebook than they realize.

It's really important that teens understand that nothing is completely private online, and that they should never post anything they wouldn't want to somehow "get out there." Teens should also understand that while Facebook may feel more private, their information and photographs are less private than they think.

P.S. I found this article about how parents and educators in Greenwich, CT, are growing more comfortable with social networking. Basically the reality that it's not going away combined with teens becoming more savvy about privacy is fueling this trend. Yay!

The Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour is being sponsored by Beinggirl.com.

Posted by anastasia at 3:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Pew Internet & American Life Project released a new report today on teens' online contact with strangers. Here's the high level summary:

Fully 32% of online teens have been contacted by someone with no connection to them or any of their friends, and 7% of online teens say they have felt scared or uncomfortable as a result of contact by an online stranger. Several behaviors are associated with high levels of online stranger contact, including social networking profile ownership, posting photos online and using social networking sites to flirt. Although several factors are linked with increased levels of stranger contact in general, gender is the only variable with a consistent association with contact that is scary or uncomfortable--girls are much more likely to report scary or uncomfortable contact than boys.

Now here are three reasons this should make you feel better as a parent, educator or adult with teens in their lives.

1. Remember that someone with no connection could be a band or artist, a company, an activist organization, or a group moderator asking them to join a group -- not just creepy adults with bad intentions.

2. Only 7 percent of teens said this contact made them scared or uncomfortable. That means 93 percent just looked the other way. Hopefully the 7 percent talked to their parents about the contact in addition to blocking the user and reporting them to the site's administrators.

3. Most of the contact that makes teens uncomfortable or scared seems to be reported by girls who post photos on their profiles. The more photos, the more stranger contact. Teens who specifically are using these sites to flirt are also attracting more stranger contact. Remember, Pew also recently reported that of teens with online profiles, 66% say their profile is not visible to all internet users. With many teens moving over to Facebook because it feels more private, I think this percentage is probably even higher now.

The big take away from this data is that it's important to talk to teens about the risks that come with posting lots of photos online and especially girls who post photos in bathing suits or any kind of revealing clothing. It may attract unwanted attention. If they still want to share their photos, just make sure they report any of this attention to the website and talk with you about it if really made them uncomfortable. The teens who are going online specifically to flirt, potentially with strangers in a way that involves webcams or any type of sexually explicit chatting are engaging in risky behavior, which they're probably doing offline as well...

Posted by anastasia at 11:05 PM | Permalink

When I speak to parents I always try to demystify the technology teens are using (which some parents feel like they don't understand) by emphasizing that teens' virtual lives are simply reflections of their "real lives." One difference is how the internet's ability to amplify whatever it is by going viral or being able to go beyond your immediate circles and reach many more people. Another difference is that teens can be bolder online, saying more than they would "in real life," posting to invisible audiences and even creating multiple new identities for themselves.

One interesting example of this is the phenomenon of gangs going online to recruit members, brag and tag their profiles with gang symbols similar to how they would use graffiti to tag in the real world. From an article in the Nashua Telegraph:

More and more frequently, gangs are using MySpace and other social networking sites the way they used to use graffiti, and gathering in the streets, Savelli said -- to proclaim their unity, brag of exploits, recruit members and disrespect rivals.

"Social networking sites are today's street corners," Savelli said, but with worldwide visibility. "If you stand on a street corner and you disrespect some guy, you're going to get punched in the face. If you do it on the Internet, you can get away with it," at least for a while, he said.

The article warns that teens should not pretend to be affiliated with gangs and post these tags online to be cool. Gang members may show up at school and explain (physically) that it's not. The good news is that gang members going public with their exploits is helping police investigate the crimes (as well as have a window into their thinking). With so many young people reflecting their offline lives on public sites, we are now able to see destructive behavior that used to be hidden...and hopefully do something about it.

Posted by anastasia at 2:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

MySpace discovered 29,000 registered sex offenders on its service and has deleted them. This is every parent's worst fear about the service -- that it is teeming with predators looking to make contact with the kids and teens who have profiles. The good news is that MySpace has been working with law enforcement to discover these sex offenders and is deleting them. Of course, that's assuming these adults in the registry are all actually predators. The other piece of good news is that most teens on the site view any contact from an adult stranger that is sexual in nature as spam. Unfortunately, commercial spam is all over MySpace -- I deleted around 10 MySpace spam messages from my profile this week.

There are teens on MySpace who are at-risk and vulnerable to interacting with predators. The challenge is identifying teens who are most likely to engage in sexual communication with adult strangers. The ones who have already been hurt, who are seeking that sort of adult approval and validation, who are having problems at home, who aren't talking to mom and dad. It can't hurt to reiterate the "be safe" message to your own teens even though you'll most likely get an "I know, Mom" with a classic teenage eye roll.

The history, size and design of MySpace has made it more open to predators and commercial spam in general. It has always been a public site anyone can access. And because its early users were L.A. musicians/artists, it has also always had a more "adult" and alternative feel to it. It's like the Village Voice of social networking with all the racy ads included. The combination of spam and adult scrutiny is already driving teens off the service so it's worth asking your teen if they still use MySpace regularly or if they're "over it."

How do you take this news as a concerned parent, especially if your teen is an active MySpace user?

1). Don't panic. Read the headline, then read what MySpace is doing about it. Just as sex offenders or predators will be drawn to playgrounds or other spaces young people hang out in, it would make sense they would be drawn to a site like MySpace.

2) Talk to your teen. Share the headline, and tell them you're just checking in to make sure they're profile is either private, i.e. just for friends, or if it's public, that it doesn't include too much personal information (see my post on identity theft). Then try an "I'm sure you already do this, but if any adult or stranger contacts you and says anything sexual in nature, I want to make sure you block them and report their profile to MySpace."

3) Remember that MySpace is not for kids or young teens. If you have tweens (under 14) who want to be on a social networking site, steer them towards sites like Imbee (or check out the list of tween sites listed on the right hand side of Ypulse).

Posted by anastasia at 4:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Associated Press has been busy playing catch up on what's happening with teens and tweens online. Two recent stories do have some useful info for parents:

- Kid networking sites force parents to act early (info and tips about the "Club Penguin" set and how kids are using social networks as early as 6 -- common sense stuff like setting limits, don't forget to make them play outside, too, etc.) (AP via MSNBC)

- The real deal on predators (please read this important story on what really puts teens at risk - [hint: it's not just posting a little too much personal info]. See also: my similar piece on PBS's Mediashift) (AP via Forbes, you have to click through the annoying welcome screen ad)

Finally -- I mentioned in my earlier post this week that teens should not be texting when they're driving (and neither should you!). Seventeen's new study says they are, which means it's time to talk to your teen about what they're doing behind the wheel.

Posted by anastasia at 8:45 PM | Permalink

The New York Times Style Section has a classic essay (reg. required) from a mom of a teen who joined Facebook. She writes:

Things were going really well, when suddenly something disturbing happened. An instant-message window appeared onscreen to deliver a verdict.

"wayyy creepy," it said. "why did you make one!"

Ah, there she was.

"What are you talking about?" I typed innocently.

"im only telling you for your own good," my daughter typed.

"Be my friend," I typed.

"You won''t get away with this," she typed. "everyone in the whole world thinks its super creepy when adults have facebooks."

"Have facebooks? Is that what you think a Profile page is called?" I typed.

She disconnected.

First of all, I love this mom. She took the bull by the horns and created her own profile, invited some friends and figured out why social networking can be fun -- especially for teens. The question she asks later in the article is also poignant:

If the presence of people like me alienated Facebook's core younger group, would they flee? And if so, whom would I annoy?

The writer perfectly captures that age old mother/daughter tension. You can almost feel her daughter's anxiety and see her eyes rolling as she types back and forth with mom. I definitely think teens are on these sites to socialize with each other -- just as they would in person, in their bedroom, with the door closed and the "keep out" sign posted. It's a normal part of individuating from parents and figuring out who they are. But just as you might knock on their bedroom door carrying a track of snacks, and check in on your teens, I think it's ok to do this on social networking sites. The key is finding the balance between letting them have their space and staying involved and engaged.

I actually don't think teens will leave Facebook if mom or dad signs up. They may up their privacy settings so most of their "Facebook" is only visible to their friends. When Facebook opened up to teens, college students were upset, but they're still there. Now that it's open to everyone, I just think people will use privacy settings to better establish exactly who they want to be networking with.

Posted by anastasia at 4:26 PM | Permalink

I asked my friend Courtney Macivinta, the author of Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed, and an ambassador for the amazing non-profit Girls for a Change, to take some notes while speaking at Next Generation Tech: Teens Plugged In!. While Silicon Valley teens probably don't represent the average American teen when it comes to technology use, it's still fun to hear what they're saying about the internet, cell phones and cheating with iPods! And, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what a "compiler" is.

From Courtney:

Throughout the day, high school and college students -- many of whom are entrepreneurs in their own right -- spoke to a room full of companies, press, VCs and some youth marketers about the gadgets they're using, the web sites they use, the games they play, and the media or online companies they've started recently. Some, like 19-year-old morning keynote Ben Casnocha, who just wrote a new book, "My Start-Up Life," talked about their business and leadership philosophies and how to fund your ideas.

The high school panel included 9 girls and guys and focused mostly on how technology is integrated into their daily lives. Many in the audience seemed to really want to know: What do teens want? Here's some of the insights the panelists offered:

* They have a bit of blog fatigue and the majority no longer maintained their personal blogs. (This goes to show that being a publisher in any form always presents the same quandary: You have to feed the beast).

* They all Google themselves and find random things like past cross-country running scores to awards they won in 6th grade, or a person with their same name who owns a refrigerator store on the east coast.

* They think the "danger of social networking sites" story is way overblown (as do I). One girl said: "They are enough MySpace articles to sink a thousand ships. We know, we get it!" They also pointed to a trend I've seen over and over: More teens are making their profiles private and really use sites like MySpace to keep in touch with current friends not to meet new ones. To switch to a new social network site seemed like a pain to most. One said, "It would have to be really special and I'd have to know people there." Most of the panelists nodded their head in agreement.

* These panelists, for one, didn't shop online much. They were sticklers about things like shipping costs and most used the Web to research offline purchases.

* Yes, they all have mobile phones (some said they couldn't live without theirs) but some are also on a budget and try to stick it when it comes to text-messaging costs.

* One guy admitted to cheating via his iPod or texting, which elicited gasps from the crowd (and a sarcastic comment from his dad who was THERE: "Then why don't you get better grades?") Once he fessed up there was a bit of a confession domino effect and a young woman admitted she'd cheated along the same lines before too.

The college panel shared these additional observations:

* They think the iPhone sounds cool; some had a smart phone; they had arguments for and against the value of browsing the web via their phone (some said sites don't look great, others do nothing but surf the web with their phone.) None had a landline phone. One panelist said he didn't want a smart phone because if he lost it "it would be like losing a girlfriend."

* All used Facebook but mentioned that they already, or would soon, use LinkedIn for more professional contacts.

* They found themselves doing more email than IM these days to keep in touch with contacts (probably that growing list of business contacts).

On both panels, MySpace universally was out of favor (even if the panelists still had a profile up) because it was too "gawdy" or "cluttered."

One thing I really enjoyed was hearing about the companies these young adults had started like:

* Elementeo.com (the 13-year-old founder launched interactive trading card came to teach kids about chemistry)
* Comcate Inc. (This is Ben's company--an e-gov start-up he founded at age 14)
* Composite Labs (they make and sell robot kits)
* CollegeWikis.com (name speaks for itself, but I liked that they allow users to capture email list discussions in their shared Wiki so they can save and search the discussions)
* GumballCapital.org (micro-loans funded by college students)
* Millennial Productions (creating low-cost short videos for clients)
* Palo Alto High School Robotics Team (the team created, among other things, a laser triggering device that enables quadriplegics the ability to push buttons, for example)
* Votsu.com (a Latin American social networking site)

As an ambassador for Girls For A Change, I did an afternoon keynote, "Is It Becoming a Woman's Web?" (My answer: Yes!) I shared how I see women and girls shaping the entire experience, usability and utility of the Web -- even those of us who don't hold Computer Science degrees or work in IT. I also recommended that companies take care to invite girls to the table as leaders, advisors, mentees, product reviewers, and give them the space to explore their visions (it's always a win-win).

My favorite quote of the day from a teen girl for Palo Alto High School: "I couldn't live without my compiler -- I love my compiler!"

Posted by anastasia at 12:15 AM | Permalink

It's funny because I wrote about this in my previous post Press Releases That Cause Panic. Now there is even more data to back this up. At a recent panel in D.C. called: Just The Facts About Online Youth Victimization, the top researchers in the field basically debunked the stranger danger fear as being greatly exaggerated, painted a clearer picture of who is really at risk, and admitted while the fear-based approach has been working in terms of teens being more careful and using more enhanced privacy settings, it probably should be retired. You can listen to the audio from the panel here.

Here are just some of the revelations I heard:

- The predominant victims of online sex crimes are not young children -- they are teens
- The crimes do not involve online predators posing as other children to stage an abduction or assault
- Only 5 percent of these cases involve violence
- Only 3 percent involved an abduction
- Only 5 percent of the offenders concealed the fact that they were adults from their victims
- 80 percent were very explicit about their sexual intentions
- These are not violent sex crimes but "criminal seductions" that take advantage of teenage vulnerabilities, teens are lured after lots of online chatting to encounters they know will be sexual in nature
- In 73 percent of these crimes teens have met the perpetrator on multiple occasions and have had multiple sexual encounters
- In half the cases the teens claim they were in love with the adults
- In a quarter of the cases the "victims" ran away from home to be with these adults
- In 2000, of all the statutory rapes reported, only 7 percent happened where the people met online

Which teens are most at-risk for these encounters? Teens who are already at-risk -- they have experienced some sort of physical or sexual victimization or are experiencing a high degree of conflict at home. These teens are willing to talk about sex with strangers and go to sex sites. This means that if 14-year-old Susie innocently posts a photo of herself and her friends wearing their high school t-shirts, the chances of a predator showing up at her school to abduct her are slim to none.

danah boyd had an excellent suggestion for where we should be investing our money to protect teens -- in outreach. Just like there is street outreach to teens who have run away or are in trouble, there needs to be virtual outreach to at-risk teens online -- a way to report red flags on blogs and MySpace profiles before something really bad happens, and the news media reports that the signs were all there...One site that does actively monitor teen posts is The Diary Project. But on sites with millions of users, it's nearly impossible to monitor every post. Maybe MySpace and Facebook could add a feature where any user under 18 either sees a window with a list of resources and hotlines for all kinds of issues or gets a periodic message encouraging teens to call if they or someone they know or even another teen they don't know appears to be in trouble.

To me, this panel should be a big story. It completely contradicts most of the existing parent education around these issues, often being led by [well meaning] law enforcement.

Posted by anastasia at 11:18 PM | Permalink

The problem with statistics and numbers is that people can spin them any way they want. The glass can be half empty or half full. I was asked in an interview for Totally Wired whether I think the online predator issue is overblown. I'm sure it's not for any family that has had an incident happen, but the reality is that more children are abducted by someone they know, usually an estranged parent or relative, than by a complete stranger. Out of the 800,000 kids that are reported missing each year by the Justice Department, only 150 cases involve "stereotypical kidnappings," in which a child is taken by a stranger, held for ransom, or killed. Today John Walsh, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications issued a press release about their latest internet survey of 1,070 teens age 13 to 17. Here's what they found:

Teens are increasingly active online and at potential risk of falling prey to online predators.

* A large majority of teens (71%) have established online profiles (including those on social networking sites such as MySpace, Friendster and Xanga), up from 61% in 2006.

* 69% of teens regularly receive personal messages online from people they don't know and most of them don't tell a trusted adult about it.

* Teens readily post personal info online. 64% post photos or videos of themselves, while more than half (58%) post info about where they live. Females are far more likely than male teens to post personal photos or videos of themselves (70% vs. 58%).

* Nearly one in 10 teens (8%) has posted his or her cell phone number online.

* Overall, 19% of teens report they have been harassed or bullied online, and the incidence of online harassment is higher (23%) among 16 and 17 year-olds. Girls are more likely to be harassed or bullied than boys (21% vs. 17%).

Parents and guardians are becoming more involved in monitoring their teens' Internet use and talking to them about online safety.

* Parental awareness of their teens' online activities has risen significantly. This year, 25% of teens say their parents know "little" or "nothing" about what they do online, down from 33% last year.

* 41% of teens report their parents talk to them "a lot" about Internet safety (up five points over 2006), and three out of four say their parents have talked to them in the past year about the potential dangers of posting personal info. The level of parental involvement is higher for younger teens and girls, although it has increased across all age groups and both genders.

* Teens whose parents have talked to them "a lot" about Internet safety are more concerned about the risks of sharing personal info online than teens whose parents are less involved. For instance, 65% of those whose parents have not talked to them about online safety post info about where they live, compared to 48% of teens with more involved parents.

* Teens whose parents have talked to them "a lot" about online safety are less likely to consider meeting face to face with someone they met on the Internet (12% vs. 20%).

Many teens are unconcerned about the dangers of sharing personal info online.

* A majority of teens (58%) don't think posting photos or other personal info on social networking sites is unsafe.

* Nearly half of teens (47%) aren't worried about others using their personal info in ways they don't want (although that represents a 10-percentage-point improvement over 2006).

* About half (49%) are unconcerned posting personal info online might negatively affect their future.

Teens are showing some signs of making safer, smarter choices online.

* While 16% of teens say they've considered meeting face to face with someone they've talked to only online, that marks a significant drop compared to the 30% of teens who were considering such a meeting in 2006. In 2007, 8% of teens say they actually have met in person with someone from the Internet, down from 14% in 2006.

* When they receive online messages from someone they don't know, 60% of teens say they usually respond only to ask who the person is. Compared to the 2006 survey, there was a 10-percentage-point increase in teens ignoring such messages (57% vs. 47%). Still, nearly a third of teens (31%) say they usually reply and chat with people they don't know, and only 21% tell a trusted adult when they receive such messages.

I think that if law enforcement had their way, teens would never post photos of themselves or any other revealing information online that *might* attract predators. While I think their intentions are good and they genuinely want to protect kids, it's just not realistic. Teens love sharing photos or videos of themselves and connecting with friends from their school or other schools in their city or town. I'm not saying teens should post their home address and cell phone numbers. They shouldn't! But if one of those photos is of a couple of friends from the soccer team in their school uniforms, is it really cause for panic?

If teens seem unconcerned with the risk, maybe they have somewhat of a point. When most teens (and I'm not talking about kids or tweens) are approached by an adult online, they figure out who it is, ignore that person if they're weird or creepy, reject their friend request, or block them from further contact. The chance that one of these creepos, who has never even successfully made contact with a teen, is going to print his or her photo and hunt them down at their school, seems very, very small. Could it happen? I guess it could. But is that risk worth forbidding teens from posting or sharing any photos of themselves or their friends online?

I also think that it's younger kids and tweens that are the most at risk for engaging with predators. They are more actively experimenting with identity, often pretending to be older, and are just more vulnerable to being sucked into a stranger's manipulations. My hunch is that older teens who engage with strangers in this way are most likely engaging in other high risk activities.

The good news in this press release is that parents are talking more and teens are listening more, especially when it comes to meeting anyone they met online in person. When I read the press release in the way it has been framed and with the order of the statistics, it made me hit the panic button -- and while I do think there's a lot more education to be done with teens about what they choose to post online, I don't think you can effectively do this when your at alert level "red."

Posted by anastasia at 1:03 AM | Permalink

Norma, a librarian from Illinois, emailed me this funny tidbit:

"Just wanted to give you a recent example for your talks. The first draft choice for the Chicago Bears is probably wishing he didn't have a Myspace page. When he was a freshman, he and some guys from his dorm videoed a rap song and put it on Myspace. I guess that it is soooo bad that one reporter said that it made Imus look like a feminist. Another comment was that if Imus got fired from his job for what he said, these guys should be jailed. The TV station this morning had a hard time cleaning it up enough to air. The bleeps had a pretty good beat. Just thought that I would share that with you."

Also, I get asked a lot about safe sites for kids and tweens. Izzy, a fellow blogger, and community manager, wrote up this great list. She plans to keep updating it so keep it bookmarked.

Posted by anastasia at 3:35 AM | Permalink

With so much negative attention given to what teens do wrong on social networking sites, I wanted to post something sort of positive today. Teens are expressing themselves and sharing their lives online. If parents are able to either negotiate being able to check out a teen's profile or even if you're doing it on the down low, being able to see and read what they're thinking and feeling, can only help you get to know them better. Suddenly the sullen teen sitting in the car silently, giving you one word answers to your questions, is a three dimensional thinking, feeling person after spending time on their MySpace profile.

It can also help parents detect early warning signs when something is wrong. I found this article that talks about how being able to access your teen's profile can actually help parents spot red flags or early warnings that something is up. From the article:

"It's not a panacea, going through your child's profile, but it can be a window into their life," said Amanda Lenhart, a research specialist with the Pew Internet & American Life Project in Washington. "It can be a conversation starter."

The challenge of course is that most teens don't want you looking at their profiles. With tweens, you can set up the expectation that as part of you allowing them to be on these sites, you get to check in on any profile they have. This way it's just part of the deal. And of course, with older teens, if you think something could be wrong or are concerned, I think it's worth searching to see if their profile is public on MySpace or joining Facebook and searching for them there...

Also, I am going to begin adding this link to all my TW posts -- it's a link to the Blog Safety Forum run by Anne Collier of Net Family News, a moderated discussion space where you can talk about any of the issues I raise in these posts. Of course, feel free to comment here, too!

Posted by anastasia at 6:25 PM | Permalink

I've written before on this blog about the importance of teaching teens to think before they post. It's not just important because these profiles (if set to "public") can be viewed by potential predators, but because they can be viewed by potentially anyone, including employers and recruiters. According to a recent report from business social network Viadeo, "one in five employers finds information about candidates on the Internet, and 59 percent of those said it influences recruitment decisions."

We've established that for many teens and college students, posting inappropriate photos or content online is an impulse decision. They're not thinking about future employers or recruiters looking at these profiles. It's all about all of the cool comments they will get from their friends, i.e. validation. They often have to learn this lesson the hard way.

Some teens (and adults) may flinch at the notion that college recruiters or potential employers might use something posted "just for fun" as a justification not to admit or hire someone, but it's happening. I wrote up some tips about "what not to post" in response to a reporter on this issue and wanted to share them here.

- "Sexy" or provocative photos showing the subject(s) in any state of undress. Not only is this bad for employers, but these pics will attract predators.

- Photos showing the subject(s) drinking or using illegal drugs. This also expands into posting images of pot leaves or favorite liquor ads. Even if teens aren't drinking or smoking pot, it can give the impression they are.

- Blog entries that reveal too much or overshare. Tell teens to keep this type of online journal private so only they or a friend or two can read it. Potential recruiters or employers don't need to know about your personal drama.

- Blog entries or photos that show an anti-work ethic - like a big quote saying "Take this job and shove it!" Teens should also never denigrate a current or former employer online.

- Violent or sexually explicit lyrics, songs or videos. Even if it's just a band or song a teen loves, employers may get the wrong idea.

The upside to having a digital trail online, is that when teens create thoughtful well written blogs or cool portfolios, that can help you, too (I was hired for a position because of Ypulse).

Also, the Ad Council just posted two more PSAs driving this message home. They tend to make the janitor and the guy cleaning up at the mall into creepy predators (maybe they have something against the custodial arts?).

(Ad Council PSAs via AdRants)

P.S. Videos can evidently be the new resume, too.

Posted by anastasia at 4:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Elvis Costello has a very special meaning to me. When I was junior in high school, we had two new students from San Antonio, Texas -- a boy my age and his sister, who was a year older. We instantly welcomed the boy into our circle of friends -- he was smart, witty and cute. All of the girls in my group of friends had crushes on him and the guys just wanted to hang out with him. We all had tickets to go see an Elvis Costello concert together. Then a tragic accident happened -- the boy had an allergic reaction to something he drank, threw up and began choking. He went into a coma and was hospitalized. Our group of friends was devastated. We prayed. We cried. We didn't know what to do. We went to Elvis Costello without our new friend, and every slow song seemed like a gut-wrenching tribute. A couple of days later he was taken off life support and passed away. I later became very close with his sister.

I'm sharing this story because I think a lot of teens experience the death of a peer -- especially in more violent neighborhoods, but even as I did, at an affluent private school. Processing this kind of loss as an adolescent is difficult, awkward and scary - especially face to face with your friends. With all of the negative attention that MySpace has been getting, I wanted to call attention to something I think is very positive. The L.A. Times, reg. required, published a story about MySpace memorials. This story has been done before and I talk about MySpace memorials in Totally Wired, but I wanted to expand on why going to the page of a friend who passed away and leaving a comment along side other mourners seems not only like a great therapeutic outlet for grief, but also seems like a safer public expression of grief, especially if you're a teen.

From the article:

...the grieving on MySpace is unplanned -- the dead person's page is a frozen moment, showing when they last logged on, their favorite books and movies, whether they were in a relationship, and photos of their best friends. After their death, their friends post messages to the departed that are akin to text messages between high school pals, stream-of-consciousness blurbs filled with slang, misspellings and abbreviations. The messages are sorrowful and sweet, angry and funny, routine and heartbreaking. They include reminiscences, pleas to watch over them, and updates on events the dead friend has missed.

...[Linda] Goldman [a grief therapist] said MySpace was a valuable outlet for the dizzying emotions of teenagers, who may be dealing with the death of a friend for the first time. Seeing others communicating with the departed shows them they are not alone in their grief, even months after the death. Additionally, knowing they can click on the profile months or years from now allows them to keep a connection to their friend as memories fade, she said.

I wish my friend had a MySpace page.

Posted by anastasia at 6:56 PM | Permalink

I'll never forget a job interview I went on back in early 2005. I Googled one of the twentysomething employees who was going to interview me and found a fraternity photo, pants down (he was wearing boxers). The entire interview, I thought about that photo. I got the job and the pants-down image was eventually replaced by the hard working ambitious personae he had on the job. I stumbled upon this article in a campus newspaper about how organizations like fraternities are beginning to speak to their members about the effect posting inappropriate photos can have on their reputation -- not just your personal reputation but on the organization as a whole.

I think this is an important concept for teens to get. It reminds me of an interview I did for Totally Wired with a parent whose daughter was applying for a job as a C.I.T. (counselor in training) at a summer camp. Her daughter had posted a liquor ad on her MySpace page. Mom explained that the parents of kids at the summer camp where she was going to be working might not be too thrilled to find that on her page. Her daughter "got it" and removed the ad.

Connecting teens' individual postings and actions online with organizations they are affiliated with -- whether it's a sports team, a church group or the drama club can help them to understand the potential ramifications of what they might post. By thinking about how it may reflect poorly not just on them, but on a group they care about, teens might think twice about posting a risque photo or take one down.

Posted by anastasia at 4:40 PM | Permalink

The heat is now officially on MySpace. They are being sued by parents who allege that their 14 and 15-year-old daughters were sexually assaulted by adults on MySpace. They are also being threatened by Attorney Generals from 33 states if the site can't demonstrate that it's safe for the minors who spend hours socializing there. In response, MySpace announced it will be offering an application they are calling Zephyr that parents can download to monitor when their teen is logging into MySpace from anywhere. Teens will know they're being tracked, and the program will only give parents access to profile changes (like age, city, state) and let them know that their teen has logged in. It won't show parents the actual profile.

I don't want to rip on MySpace for trying to do something in the face of what has become a moral panic, but the reality is that you could get that same information by just asking your teen. And, according to a 2005 Pew report, "parents who use Internet filtering software to police their children tend to be Internet users themselves, and that more moms (59 percent) report the use of filtering software than dads (49 percent)." I'm convinced that in addition to parents who just don't believe filters are that effective or are too invasive, there are also a lot of parents who would not know what software to buy or how to install it. I'm also convinced these same parents won't know how to download and use Zephyr.

But it's not just whether or not parents are tech savvy enough to use technology to monitor their teen's MySpace activity. I just don't see how downloading any application can replace having multiple conversations with your teen about Internet safety, privacy and online etiquette.

Talking to teenagers can be tough. They can be moody, appear uninterested or distracted (even answer a text message in the middle of your conversation) and they often like to act as if they know everything. They might look at you like you're crazy, roll their eyes and just say in that exaggerated tone, "Yeah. I know." If you're a parent, you can't be deterred by typical teenage behavior. I honestly believe that even though teens will display these outward signs of resistance -- they want and need you to talk to them.

MySpace is a virtual public space inhabited by teens and adults. Just like the mall or a park or a city square is a real public space. The internet does make it easier for predators to appear less creepy -- they can pose as teens and cajole and manipulate in ways that your typical predator couldn't do face-to-face (unless it's someone they know, like a parent or family member, which is more often the case). This means parents have to be extra vigilant about helping teens set up the right privacy settings on their accounts and have a healthy suspicion of anyone they don't know who approaches them on MySpace. Parents have to drive home the dangers of teens using the internet to flirt with anyone they don't know (whether they're teens, adults, or adults posing as teens). And then, after you have done all of that, just as you do when you let your teen go to the mall or the movies with their friends, you have to take a deep breath and trust that they will do the right thing.

Software isn't going to do this for you. And while I understand the anger these families have over what may have happened to their daughters, I don't think a lawsuit is going to solve the underlying problem of why these girls decided it was ok to meet a guy in person they had only interacted with online. I'm not anti-filtering for younger kids and teens, just as I support parents who keep the computer in a central location for this same age group. I just believe that technology can't replace talking.

Related commentary on Zephyr

MySpace - The "Un"Announcement
CBS' Larry Magid: New Software Will Show How Children Represent Themselves Online
By Letting Parents Spy On Kids, MySpace Breaks A Little

Posted by anastasia at 6:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I was recently riding in a bus back to a conference with a handful of youth marketers discussing what the next big thing will be with teens and technology. One woman said she believed that teens would be meeting other teens from all over the world online...and I disagreed. She was comparing the teen experience to the adult internet dating experience, and while some teens do meet new friends online (including girlfriends and boyfriends), they are the minority. The Pew Internet & American Life Project's latest report on teens and social networking backs up other recent research like the last week's MySpace study and research on the meaning of virtual friendship from Harris Interactive. In a nutshell, the research affirms that for most teenagers, social networking sites are a way to extend and enhance their existing offline friendships.

Hear's a nice summary from a BBC article about the report:

The study for the Pew Internet Project involved 935 teenagers and found 55% of American youths aged 12-17 had accounts at sites such as MySpace and Facebook.

It found that the sites were more popular with older teenage girls who tend to use them to keep in touch with their existing friends.

By contrast, boys were much more likely to use the sites to find new friends....

The Pew research suggests that these sites were most popular with girls aged 15-17 as 70% of those questioned said they had an account at one or more of the social networking sites. By contrast only 54% of boys aged 15-17 were such keen users.

Some teenagers are avid users of the sites and 48% of those interviewed said they visited the sites on a daily basis and 22% said they looked at the sites several times a day.

Researcher danah boyd posted an interesting analysis of this report on her blog as well. One insight that struck me was:

"Not surprisingly, boys are more than twice as likely to use these sites to flirt than girls (29% vs. 13%). Boys are also more likely to use these sites to make new friends than girls (60% vs. 46%). I have to say that this makes me really sad. This is probably not about boys being more interested in meeting people than girls, but about girls being the subject of most of our fear around strangers. I remember watching 1950s movies about fathers not letting their daughters out while their sons could do whatever. I suspect that we have similar gendered limitations on our children's internet usage. We allow our sons to talk with whoever, but tell our daughters that everyone they meet online is bound to be a perfecrt. Perhaps it's rational, perhaps girls are more at risk, but perhaps it is our fear of them that puts them more at risk."

What I would add to this analysis is that I think other aspects of traditional gender roles are at play here, too. For example, J Mac, one of the teens on MySpace I interviewed for Totally Wired was extremely active in a Volkswagen group, sharing photos of his car with other Volkswagen devotees. He was also the leader of the Class of 2006 group. I'm guessing most of the other people in the Volkswagen group were not teens from his school. I think that boys tend to have more hobbies and be more interest driven while girls tend to be more relational/social. Think about how there are no general teen magazines for boys yet there are sports magazines or video gaming magazines that lots of teen boys read. So more boys may be on social networking sites talking about their cars or their computers or favorite video games with strangers than girls.

Finally, Pew also reconfirmed that the awareness of what it means to be public has taken hold after the past year of media coverage, cops in the classroom and parents and teachers talking to teens about keeping their personal information private. Sixty-six percent of teens have chosen to make their profiles viewable only to their friends...that are most likely the same friends hanging out on your sofa watching TV after school.

Posted by anastasia at 3:42 PM | Permalink

If you've become a regular viewer of NBC's "To Catch A Predator," or even the local news, the word MySpace will send chilld up your parental spine. Here's some data that should comfort you and hopefully make you think twice before pulling the plug on your teen's MySpace account. At the same time, it should encourage you to have a sit down about what is appropriate to post online. From an article in the Miami Herald:

"A new study that examined adolescents' pages on MySpace.com suggests most teens are behaving responsibly in the type of information they post about their lives.

Authors of the unpublished study say there remain troubling findings, including 5 percent of youths on public MySpace pages posting pictures of themselves in bathing suits or underwear.

But more than 90 percent of the 1,475 teenagers in the study, who left their personal networking pages available for outsiders, did not include their full name in their personal profiles, noted the study co-authored by a South Florida professor. And the researchers found that 40 percent of teenagers in the MySpace study sample were keeping their pages completely off-limits to everyone but their friends, as the site allows....

The researchers examined 1,475 teenage MySpace pages, among millions left public:

- More than half of teenagers posted their pictures online and an unspecified number of others provided detailed physical descriptions of themselves. In addition to the 5 percent that posted pictures of themselves in bathing suits or underwear, another 15 percent had suggestive pictures of their friends in their online profiles.

- Only 4 percent of pages listed instant messaging contact information. One percent listed personal e-mail addresses and just a handful of teens listed their phone numbers.

- Though 90 percent of teenagers did not list full names, they left other identifying information, including their first names (40 percent), hometown (81 percent) and high school (28 percent).

Posted by anastasia at 6:12 PM | Permalink

In tenth grade, I attended Franklin High School in Franklin, TN, a town outside of Nashville. At the time it was pretty "red" meaning lots of future farmers and burnouts. I hear it's completely different now, but back then (1986), it was not uncommon for word to travel that a fight was going to happen between kid A and kid B in the local gas station parking lot. Like sheep, we would all show up to watch what would unfold. This is classic high school stuff -- remember Three O'Clock High?

Times have changed -- but teens haven't. These types of fights between teens or even brawls between groups of kids from different schools still happen occasionally, they are just being broadcast on sites like MySpace. Media Life Magazine recently ran a short item that illustrates this phenomenon:

"MySpace has made it easier for people to connect online, but that's not always a good thing. Twelve students at Edwardsville High School in Illinois were expelled on Monday after taking part in a fight that school officials say was set up on the popular social networking site. Nobody was hurt in the fight, which was about who had been invited to a party, but the 11 girls and one boy who participated are done for the year, and the three seniors involved won't be able to take part in graduation ceremonies come spring. There had been bad blood among the students involved for some time, causing seven of them to sign an agreement on Nov. 6 to stop disrespecting each other. But two days later, plans for the brawl were made by way of messages on MySpace, and the throw-down took place the next day in the school's commons area."

Sometimes, a fight will actually start online with harsh words or cyberbullying and escalate into physical confrontation. In Totally Wired, I wrote about one case where this happened with teens from rival high schools.

"According to a New York Times article, online threats happening over IM between students at the Gillispie School in San Diego and the nearby Muirlands School escalated when 30 students from Muirlands showed up at Gillispie ready for a fight. They were carrying skateboards over their heads and yelling out the screen name of one of the boys they had been IMing with online."

I don't think banning access to MySpace at school is going to stop these types of situations from happening, but knowing about it, letting your teens and students know that you know this stuff goes on, and talking to them about what the right thing to do is if they do see that a fight is being planned (where someone will get hurt) is a good step towards being an internet literate teacher or parent.

Posted by anastasia at 5:08 PM | Permalink

I will always fondly remember the afternoons I hung out at the Green Hills Mall in Nashville, TN - oggling Benetton sweaters I couldn't afford, drinking soda at the food court, and yes, smoking cloves in the bathroom. Teens and malls have always gone together like ruma ruma ruma (ok sorry) -- it's a rite of passage to be dropped off at a mall with your friends for a few hours to hang out. It seems that over the past several years, retailers have grown weary with teen antics at the mall. Hanging out has turned to "loitering" and teens are being kicked out or forced to have a parent accompany them.

This article from the St. Louis Post Dispatch describes the evolving dynamic between teens and malls:

"For half a century, malls and teenagers have gone hand in hand. Food courts, department stores and specialty shops have become the stage where the drama of adolescence plays out.

These days, though, the mall-teenager relationship appears to have fallen on rocky times. Retail centers across the country have become increasingly uncomfortable with the mall's serving as a teenage right of passage or de facto day-care center.

And some experts say that the feeling is mutual, with more young people looking to the Internet for social interaction."

It's true -- more teens are hanging out online on sites like MySpace. I write a lot about this in Chapter Three of Totally Wired, which focuses on social networking sites. These virtual hangouts are beginning to replace the mall as one of the few parent-free zones where teens can do what teens need to do to as part of the process of growing up -- hang out.

My friend and youth researcher danah boyd says it best:

"So what exactly are teens doing on MySpace? Simple: they're hanging out. Of course, ask any teen what they're doing with their friends in general; they'll most likely shrug their shoulders and respond nonchalantly with ‘just hanging out.’ Although adults often perceive hanging out to be wasted time, it is how youth get socialized into peer groups. Hanging out amongst friends allows teens to build relationships and stay connected. Much of what is shared between youth is culture -- fashion, music, media. The rest is simply presence. This is important in the development of a social worldview. For many teens, hanging out has moved online. Teens chat on IM for hours, mostly keeping each other company and sharing entertaining cultural tidbits from the Web and thoughts of the day. The same is true on MySpace, only in a much more public way."

Personally, I think more offline malls like The Lab and other hangout spaces (skateparks, all-ages shows, etc.) should be developed just for teens.

Posted by anastasia at 6:13 PM | Permalink

Think back to the room you had as a teenager. I was a punk who went to lots of all ages shows so my walls were covered with flyers for different local bands. I also had posters of James Dean, Bowie, The Beatles and loads of pictures of me and my best friend (usually ones that we had taken of each other). This need to personalize extended to my school locker and later to my college dorm rooms. It's natural for teens to want to make certain spaces their own.

This was always part of the appeal of MySpace profiles to teenagers. While adults snubbed the DIY design aesthetic as visually offensive, teens immediately embraced the ability to make their pages their own. They started creating their own layouts, had their favorite songs or video clips play when their profile loaded and posted photos everywhere (on their profile, in comments, etc.)

The folks in Silicon Valley spotted this trend and quickly began developing applications solely for the purpose of putting them on social networking profiles. In the tech world, some of these types of applications are called widgets. All of these different widgets and applications now make up what the media has labeled the "MySpace ecosystem." The ecosystem is made up of sites that offer MySpace layouts, lyrics, video, slideshow applications to display photos, audio applications where you can leave a voice message or recording on your profile, and widgets for reading feeds from different blogs or news sources, games, weather, scores and more. Profiles on social networking sites are the "virtual teen bedroom," sometimes messy and chaotic but very reflective of the teen who hangs out there.

If you check out the photosharing links on the right hand side, you'll find a bunch of the slideshow sites popular with teens right now like Slide. Other popular sites in the ecosystem include Snapvine, Plyrics, Whateverlife, RockYou and Video Code Zone.

Posted by anastasia at 9:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

MyDeathSpace (where MySpace profiles live on as shrines to the deceased...) (via an article in The New York Sun)

- YALSA podcasts (not only are young adult librarians setting up shop in the virtual world of Teen Second Life, they're also recording podcasts with teens and librarians)

- Cyberbullying on the rise (in South Korean - where the social networking site CyWorld is huge)

- 'Own Your Own Space' (Computer company Symantec puts out a book for parents and teens on Internet safety)

- Teen 'text speak' allowed... (on exams in New Zealand) (Textually)

- Behind Bebo (check out this Ypulse interview with an executive from Bebo.com, one of the fastest growing social networks that teens are hanging out on)

- Crossing the Digital Divide (a new blog by Internet safety expert Ken Leebow)

Posted by anastasia at 9:29 PM | Permalink

When I was a teenager, I was a serial best friender. I always had one best friend who I did everything with and then a larger group of friends we hung out with together. I valued her opinion above all others -- including my parents. As tweens become teens, parents begin to take a backseat to peers, and friends become the all important source of information and validation.

How many of you remember seeing your friends at school, then hanging out after school and then talking on the phone for an hour or more at night? I remember watching a TV show with my friend in one ear on the phone providing a running commentary. The need to stay connected to peers is a natural part of being a teen. The need to stay connected is also stronger for girls than boys since girls tend to be more social, and their friendships are much more intimate. The exception is teen dating relationships where girls and boys will IM, text or MySpace together for hours.

What technology has done is to "power" teen friendships. It's like plugging them in or "crank them up a notch." Suddenly there are many more ways for teens to stay connected. They can instant message or text, and often do even when their friend is in the same room. They can comment on each others blogs or MySpace profiles or share videos and photographs. Instead of having to find a landline to get in touch, they can be in constant contact 24/7. Most of the teens I interviewed for the book drew a distinction between online friends they had never met in person and offline friends who they also corresponded with online. It was rare that they would become friends with complete strangers who didn't share some kind of mutual connection or offline friend in common.

The youth marketing company Alloy recently teamed with the research company Harris Interactive to find out how technology is reshaping teen friendships. What's interested me about the findings were that contrary to the popular perception that teens are so immersed in technology they barely come up for air or to talk to real people, they still prefer face to face interactions. I was also intrigued by how teens who augmented their friendships offline with online interaction reported being closer and staying friends longer than they did with teens they only interacted with "in the real world." Here are some of the findings:

Friends I've Never Met
For many teens, meeting in person is not a prerequisite for being considered a friend. Online connections have provided a socially accepted platform for teens to form friendships. More than one-third of teens (36%) have friends whom they've never met in person, but have only "talked to" online. This is four times the number of tweens who have such friendships (8%). However, most teens use the Internet to augment relationships they have in the "real" world. Nearly nine in ten (87%) have friends whom they talk with both in person and online; this is more than the number of teens who have friends whom they only talk to in person/on the phone (and never "talk to" online) (79%).

Online Status
Friendships that are nurtured in both the "real" and "virtual" worlds define a teen's closest connections, depicting relationships that are more long-standing and intimate than those that are carried out in only one or the other. Nine in ten teens (89%) who have friends that they talk to both in person and online have known them for at least one year, and three-quarters (77%) consider these friends to be extremely or very close. In contrast, friendships that exist only in the "real" world are slightly less likely to be of such long-standing; 82 percent report that they have
known these friends at least a year.

But perhaps of more interest, fewer teens describe "in-person only" friendships as close, compared to those that friends to whom they maintain ties both in person and online. Only half (52%) of teens describe these friendships as extremely or very close. Friendships that exist only online are more recent, and thus not surprisingly, less close. Fifty-one percent of teens who have friends whom they only talk to online say they have known these friends for six months or less, and two-thirds (66%) describe these friendships as not at all or somewhat close. As these data show, even for teens, friendships that exist only online do not trump those with people they know in the "real" world as well.

Virtual Confidants
For some teens communicating online allows them to show more of their true selves. Three in ten teens say they can share more with a friend online (30%) and that they are more honest when they talk to friends online (29%). Online friendships play different roles for teens and tweens. A majority of teens (62%), compared to only 49% of tweens, report that talking to their friends online makes them feel that they are always connected. Online friendships for tweens are as much an emblem of growing up. Half of tweens (52%), versus only 34% of teens, say that talking to their friends online makes them feel cool.

You can read more about this research in here. What's fascinating is how much this departs from the popular media narrative that portrays totally wired teens and the social media they use as not being the same as "real world" friendships when it may actually be deepening these friendships in a whole new way.

Posted by anastasia at 3:59 PM | Permalink

I had teachers I didn't like -- we all did. I even made fun of them, had made-up codenames for them and passed notes that included some not so nice drawings of these nemesis teachers. This tends to happen a lot in middle school when the combination of learning a whole new vocabulary of sexual terminology and profanity can make this kind of student heckling of teachers pretty ruthless. When this happened, and students got caught, usually for passing a note or starting rumor, they would typically get a sitdown with the principal and the parents.

Today totally wired tweens and teens are doing the same thing -- they're just doing it online. And they're getting expelled or even sued. One of the parents I interviewed for the book told me about her daughter's expulsion for making fun of her middle school teacher on MySpace. While the parent was rightly horrified by what her daughter and her friend posted (as was the principal since it became a rallying point for other students to target this teacher), she also felt the school overreached by expelling her daughter in her last year of middle school. The expulsion was hugely traumatic for the whole family.

In a related story, a teen was recently investigated by the Secret Service for threatening President Bush on MySpace. Many teens have been questioned by police for threatening posts about classmates, teachers, ex-girlfriends, etc. Teenagers are passionate. They are impulsive and hotheaded. And until they are questioned by authorities or caught for these types of postings, they may not realize that a) anyone is taking them seriously and b) that their post can spread virally and generate way more hate than passing a note.

The challenge for adults reading teen blogs is not to overreact. If there are red flags, by all means react - talk to the teen, talk to the parents - but remember, teens are still teens and will often say something in anger or frustration they don't really mean. The key is continuing to emphasize the public nature of these sites to them. If their friends can read their blog so can their teachers, principals and cops. Most teens are starting to get this, but especially for younger tweens who may be tempted to deface a photo of Mrs. so-and-so and post it on MySpace, letting them know the potentially more severe consequences (than when we were kids) is essential.

Update: USA Today just published an article on the harsh punishments schools are doling out for these types of blogging incidents including:

- A student at an Indianapolis-area school was expelled for making sexually explicit comments about a teacher on MySpace.

- Officials at a Pittsburgh school kicked a student off the volleyball team for an Internet message that criticized an art teacher.

- A cheerleader at a Fort Worth-area school was kicked off the squad for derogatory comments someone posted on her blog about other cheerleaders.

Posted by anastasia at 1:51 AM | Permalink

KAOL and Red now free (AOL's kids and teen services are now free for anyone to use as are their parental controls)

- Where do you not want your kids to go today? (Microsoft's new Vista operating system, set to launch next year, will have a big emphasis on parental controls) (San Diego Union-Tribune)

- Cellphones give UK parents peace of mind (a new study says parents reassured, like to call teens. Teens, of course, prefer to text their parents) (BBC)

-