Anastasia Goodstein Published by Anastasia Goodstein, Totally Wired (the blog) is a resource for parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, librarians youth workers or any adult trying to decode what teens are doing online and with technology. Read more.

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« Why Technology Can't Replace Parenting | Main

Seven Reasons You Should Text Your Teen

text your teenI've written here before about how most teens check their email a lot less frequently than they do their MySpace email, instant messages or text messages. AT&T Cingular or whatever they are calling themselves now has launched an effort to get parents texting. Of course this helps their bottom line, but I also think texting your teen is a great way to communicate. And since most parents have cell phones, it's pretty convenient. Check out their .pdf guide about how to text here. Cingular also enlisted help from psychologist Dr. Ruth Peters (who authored the texting guide as well) to articluate some reasons why texting can actually help parent/teen communication. She came up with seven:

Parents get a quick answer to their questions. This is good for today's busy kids, who are often in between school and extra-curricular activities or hanging out with friends, and might not, or in some cases can't, take the time for a normal conversation. {this is also then parents calling their teen while he or she is in school!]

Kids are more apt to respond to text messages when they are with their friends. It is more discreet and their answers don't have to be as detailed as in a conversation.

You, or they, don't have to worry about tone of voice. Some kids tend to become defensive when they hear their parent's tone of voice, which often results in delayed return phone calls or avoidance. Texting helps to take tone of voice and misinterpretation out of the mix and can improve response times.

Texting allows you to enter your child's world. By using text messaging, parents can communicate in the style their children are used to, and become more hip in their children's eyes. An example might be a parent who sends a text to her daughter on a blind date to ask her how the date is going. "Is he Mr. Wonderful?" or "Is he a frog or a prince?" [I think that question fails the hip test, but the spirit of this suggestion is right on]

Text messaging allows parents to compose and edit a message before pressing send. If emotion surrounds an issue, Dr. Peters often counsels parents to write things out before actually saying them to their kids to help edit their thoughts. By making parents think about it more, texting removes explosive emotions from potentially charged communications and situations. [the flipside is that SMS is very truncated with a lot being left up to misinterpretation, so I probably wouldn't use it to have a really loaded conversation - just to tell your teen, we need to talk]

Texting vs. calling gives kids more space but allows parents to keep in touch as often as necessary. For instance, it is a good way to double check their child's whereabouts without nagging.

Text messaging can also be used to strengthen parent-child bonds, and let kids know that their parents are thinking of them. Send them a text wishing them good luck before the school play audition, or let them know you are thinking of them if there is something they were concerned about such as a difficult test or a grade. [this is my favorite suggestion]

Update: Totally Wired reader Ken writes: The most important reason for ATT and other carriers is the additional revenue. The profit margins for selling air is very high. BTW, here's a great site for sending a text message via email. No need to know the carrier: teleflip.com.

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