Thank You For Supporting Totally Wired

It's with some sadness that I'm writing this final post. I launched the Totally Wired blog to support the book, which was published this past March. After over nine months of actively promoting the book, I have decided to put this blog to bed, and focus full time on building Ypulse as a sustainable and hopefully profitable business. I'll definitely continue to post links and information relevant to parents and educators, but it will be in more of a Ypulse context and tone than the posts I've written here. I will leave this blog up as a permanent resource and archival history.

I will continue to work with the media as an expert on all things teen and tech (reporters, feel free to email) and to speak on the topics discussed in the book and on this blog through my lecture agent (Ken Eisenstein @ The American Program Bureau).

A special thanks to the folks at P&G's Beinggirl.com for supporting the Totally Wired Parent/Educator tour, which is officially ending this week.

Thanks to everyone who bought the book, told a friend, posted a link and invited me to their library or school.

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No Teacher Left Behind

This past week I read a blog post about teacher's unions in Ohio asking teachers not to participate in social networking because they did not want them fraternizing with students online. This, coupled with criticism of the recent National School Boards Association report (L.A. Times, reg. required) on social networking from The Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood, makes me want to say, "Stop the insanity." You can read my post when the report came out here. Not that I support commercialism in schools -- I absolutely do not. In fact I encourage parents and teachers to help teens become marketing literate and critical of the ad messages that appear on these sites. But I don't think that report was pushing an openness to social media in schools as a way to welcome brands into the classroom. If anything it was simply countering the onslaught of negative media coverage and well-meaning internet safety lectures that have teachers and parents running for the hills (and blocking everything) while teens and tweens continue to run to the "Virtual Hills."

If teachers are not encouraged to use social networking sites both personally and discuss social networking in class, they will be completely left behind. Students will also continue to suffer from having no adults teaching them how to use these sites appropriately. I'm not talking about how to just be safe by not sharing your home address. I'm talking about ethics, information literacy and an ongoing discussion of the new and complex socialization happening online. Teachers and students don't have to use MySpace or Facebook at school - although I strongly believe they should be accessible in all public libraries. I also think teachers need to be able to selectively unblock MySpace, YouTube and any other site that may have something educational to share with the class - A song on MySpace, a video on YouTube, etc.

If teachers want to use social networking educationally, they could research "white label" social networks that can be customized for use at school and that would be limited to students in a particular class. If they are interested in blogging they could check out companies like Gaggle that offer solutions for educators.

I also think teachers can create two profiles on sites like MySpace or Facebook -- one that is private, just for their personal friends and one that is a "teacher page," i.e. Mrs. Doe's Math Class profile, where she can post info for her students. You just need to warn the students that if they become friends with your teacher page, and you see something in one of their profiles that's inappropriate (i.e. drinking, drug use, etc.), you have to report it. Let's stop reacting and begin engaging with students around the tools that are transforming the way we all communicate.

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Getting By With A Little Help From Their Friends

In my travels promoting Totally Wired, I have heard a few stories of teens intervening on behalf of another teen in trouble, i.e. posting about suicidal thoughts. Whether teens tell a parent or the school guidance counselor or even just send that person a hotline link, they are looking out for each other. I wish there was a way to encourage this even more on sites like MySpace and YouTube, especially after this week's news about the Finnish teen who uploaded his murderous message on YouTube before going on a killing rampage. I don't know that anyone could have stopped him, but I think we can encourage teens online to be aware of what friends in their networks are posting as well as other teens who are not necessarily friends. We should encourage teenagers as internet citizens to look for red flags, and if they see them, try to help in some way. I would ask teens to watch for posts that talk about:

- Being depressed
- Having suicidal thoughts
- Having homicidal thoughts
- Eating issues (throwing up or not eating)
- Self harm (cutting)
- Addiction issues (not being able to stop drinking or using drugs)
- Sexual abuse or assault (either at home, by a peer or stranger)

You could encourage teens to reach out to the teen posting and just say they read their post and want to make sure they're ok. If a teen is still concerned, they could tell the school guidance counselor anonymously or talk to their parents about it.

If a teen is posting about killing themselves or others, teens should definitely report this to their school (if it's another student), and if they don't know the teen, to the local police where that teen is posting from, or if they don't have that information to the site's administrators immediately. Here's a great list of hotlines teens can keep handy to send to a friend or other teen in need.

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Internet Safety Gone Wild?

That's the title of a new essay published in the Journal of Adolescent Research by Brendesha Tynes, a professor of educational psychology and of African American studies at Illinois. In a time where most of the headlines scream "danger!", It's nice to hear an academic voice articulating some of the educational benefits of teens spending time online. According to this summary of her essay from Science Daily, Professor Tynes says:

"We may do adolescents a disservice when we curtail their participation in these spaces, because the educational and psychosocial benefits of this type of communication can far outweigh the potential dangers."

Here are just some of the positives Tynes calls attention to:

- critical thinking and argumentation skills developed in online discussions
- finding support from online peer groups
- exploring questions of identity
- getting help with homework
- asking questions about sensitive issues they might be afraid to ask face to face
- developing their skills in understanding issues from the perspective of others

She also sees the internet as a forum for teens to discuss race or "the training wheels" for discussing these issues in person:

Some teenagers who believe racism no longer exists may readily find it in online discussions, Tynes said. Some may go online and spread false information or make insensitive remarks, but find themselves challenged, she said. Others may find the online environment a place to ask serious questions about race or ethnicity they would be afraid to ask in person, for fear of offending or causing a conflict, Tynes said.

In all of these cases, there is an opportunity to learn or gain a new perspective, she said. "It's sort of like having training wheels for engaging in interracial discussions (offline)," Tynes said.

Given the increasing segregation of U.S. schools along racial lines, Tynes thinks schools may even want to encourage online discussion as a substitute for what is missing in hallways and classrooms. "I think the Internet would be a perfect place to engage the racial issues that may not come up because of this re-segregation," she said.

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Education | Social Media

Nobody Cards For Virtual Beer

In Totally Wired, I share an anecdote of a mom who saw that her teen daughter had posted a Corona ad on her MySpace page. The mom talked to her daughter about who might see that ad (like the parents of the kids she would be in charge of as a camp counselor) as a way to make the point that her MySpace is public. Now that loads of teens have moved over to Facebook and are under the impression that it's "more private," (see my recent post on this), they love sending each other virtual beers. I'm sure there will be virtual pot leaves soon if there aren't already.

My guess is that most teens sending and receiving virtual beers are probably drinking real ones at parties or at bars using fake i.d.s. If not, they think it's a way to make them seem cooler to people who are. I don't think anyone is going to not be hired for having virtual beer on their Facebook profile, but like anything you put up, it does say something about you. Separate from the conversations about drugs and alcohol you should be having with teens, I think it's worth talking to them to make sure they understand Facebook's privacy loopholes and are aware of what they are saying about themselves when they decide to give or receive virtual beer or post images of alcohol or pot on MySpace.

Update: Check out the latest Cyberfamilias column in the New York Times (reg. required) where "creepy" mom discovers teens also like to send virtual sex toys to each other.

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Teach Your Parents Well

Many first generation U.S. teens spend a lot of time translating for their parents -- translating English as well as customs and norms that are very different from where they may have immigrated from. It makes sense that they would also be translating technology. I really think all teens enjoy showing off their expertise as "digital natives" when parents ask for help. Some teens will role their eyes and make fun of their parents for needing help even though they secretly enjoying being asked. My guess is that for some teens, like immigrant teens, it's part of a whole host of lessons they get to teach their parents. And, according to this study, teens are helping "hard to reach" parents bridge the digital divide. So much so these parents are more connected than the average parent. From the press release:

A new study by EduGuide: Partnership for Learning has found that in their homes teens act like an eraser for the digital divide. Surprisingly, 80 percent of parents with less than a college degree, previously thought to be among the least connected, now use the Internet compared to 72 percent of all adults.

"Teens are digital super-connectors," said study author and EduGuide President Bryan Taylor. "Parents may feel slow compared to their teens. Yet trying to keep up with their kids puts these parents ahead of other adults."

But the results may be a surprise for educators. More than half estimated that 40 percent or less of parents, who didn't have a college degree, would use the Internet.

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10 Tips For A Rainy Night

My last two east coast stops on the Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour were Thursday and Friday in Virginia. I have to confess, I wanted to cancel Friday night -- I was exhausted, and it hadn't stopped raining since I arrived on Wednesday. I thought, "What parent would come out on a rainy Friday night to hear someone speak about teens and the internet?" Still, I pushed through, driving to Annandale, VA, in the pouring rain, relying on my new BFF (the GPS lady) to get me there. To my surprise, when I arrived at the small parent center behind Annandale High, parents began showing up at quarter to 7 (always a good sign).

We actually had a full room with a very diverse crowd of parents from all different backgrounds. They had translators on hand to help some of the parents who didn't speak English, and there was even a reporter from the local Korean newspaper. After I spoke, one mother, who didn't speak fluent English, was copying down the 10 tips I offer at the end of my presentation onto her notepad. Another parent asked if she could try to recreate the presentation for more parents and wanted to know if it was copyrighted. My goal, and the goal of the tour, was to reach as many parents as possible. So copy these 10 tips, download the discussion guide, make copies and spread the word!

1. Ask them where they hang out online: Have them show you their favorite sites and games. Then have them help you build a profile, create an avatar, play the game.

2. Ask them about their privacy settings: Find out if their profile or blog is public for the world to see or just for their friends.

3. Be their guide: Help them evaluate and find credible Internet sources for homework as well as to be critical of sites they go to for fun.

4. Set limits: Tell them when to turn it off. Limit multitasking when studying.

5. Teach teens cyberethics: Emphasize what's different about bullying online, the public nature of the internet, plagiarism and cheating

6. Keep the computer in a central space: Even if they have a laptop up until they are 16 or you feel like you have built enough trust for them to compute in their bedroom.

7. Ask if you can be their online "friend" so you can see who their "friends" are: Some parents make it a condition younger teens (13 and 14) who may be on social networking sites for teens 13 and up.

8. Know their buddies: For younger teens, ask them to go through their IM buddy list and tell you who everyone is. If they ever want to meet an online friend in person, insist on going with them.

9. Encourage them to tell you when something bad happens: Promise you won't "take the internet away."

10. Talk about appropriate use: When to put their phones on silent, not to use text messaging acronyms in papers for school, not to record and post "hidden camera" images of their friends.

The Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour is sponsored by Beinggirl.com.

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Totally Wired On CNN.com

Check out the video interview on CNN.com as well as the accompanying news article!

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Club Zora: Learning By Creating Their Own Technology

As virtual worlds for kids like Club Penguin and Webkinz continue to multiply (it seems like every toy company is launching one), I continue to get a lot of questions from parents about both the educational value of these websites for children as well as concern about screen time. With Sesame Workshop, Disney and Noggin all launching sites for preschoolers, these are legitimate questions to be asking. While I don't have the answers, I did find this article in the Boston Globe about a researcher at Tufts who has developed an online experience for 11-16 year olds with some of these questions in mind. From the article:

Marina Bers, who last year was among 20 US scientists to receive the Presidential Early Career Award for Scientists and Engineers in a ceremony at the White House, is pioneering technology that marries two independent disciplines - child development and computer technology. From the former, she brings the widely accepted tradition of Jean Piaget, which posits that children learn best by interacting with their world. From her mentor at MIT, Seymour Papert, comes the theory known as constructionism, that if children create their own technology they will learn more than if they simply swallow information technology spits out. The software she created is called Zora. Children's Hospital Boston is using it in a pilot project where 22 transplant patients, ages 11 to 16, log on daily from around the country to build a virtual community (Interestingly, she limits her three children ages 3, 7 and 4 to less than an hour a week in front of the computer).

You can learn more about Club Zora here. And, if you haven't, check out Zoey's Room, another great non-profit site emphasizing technology, math and science for girls.

If you are in the Los Angeles area, you should check out this panel discussion I am participating in organized by Common Sense Media and The MacArthur Foundation about kids and virtual worlds. It's free, but you have to register beforehand.

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Facebook Is More Private...Or Is It?

Everywhere I've spoken as part of the Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour over the past month, parents have told me that their teens have abandoned MySpace for Facebook. Teens believe that Facebook is "more private," and in many ways Facebook's roots contribute to this perception. Because the site was originally just for Harvard students, then just Ivy League students, then just college students, it always gave off the sense that you were communicating with the same friends you would see in the dorms. MySpace, on the other hand, was first embraced by musicians and artists in Los Angeles looking for a way to communicate directly with fans and hoping for their big break.

Researcher danah boyd pointed out in a recent blog post that the privacy settings on MySpace -- either public for the world or private (just for my friends) are actually stronger than Facebook's multiple options and check boxes in numerous places. From her post:

By default, people's Facebook profiles are only available to their network. Join a City network and your profile is far more open than you realize. Accept the default search listings and you're findable on Google. The default is far beyond friends-only and locking a Facebook profile down to friends-only takes dozens of clicks in numerous different locations. Plus, you never can really tell because if you join a new network, everything is by-default open to that network (including your IM and phone number). To make matters weirder, if you install an Application [Note from Anastasia: Facebook has opened itself up to developers who are creating numerous applications that teens are using to "decorate" their profiles], you give the creator access to all of your profile data (no one reads those checkboxes anyhow). Most people never touch the defaults, meaning that they are far more exposed on Facebook than they realize.

It's really important that teens understand that nothing is completely private online, and that they should never post anything they wouldn't want to somehow "get out there." Teens should also understand that while Facebook may feel more private, their information and photographs are less private than they think.

P.S. I found this article about how parents and educators in Greenwich, CT, are growing more comfortable with social networking. Basically the reality that it's not going away combined with teens becoming more savvy about privacy is fueling this trend. Yay!

The Totally Wired Parent/Educator Tour is being sponsored by Beinggirl.com.

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